Sunday, January 27, 2008


I think I have a love hate relationship with mail. I love opening my mailbox to find a letter from a friend, a package from mom, or an item that I have ordered from Amazon. There is always a bit of energy in the air as I thumb through it to see what I got that day. Then there are always letters that I immediately get a bad feeling about; Excel Energy, Chase Credit Cards, Allstate. The list could go on, but I know before I open them that money is going to be involved. Letters from the state dental board always get me a little nervous too (don’t anyone worry, they have all been informational letters.)

This week I got a letter from Boulder County. I’ve been summoned for Jury Duty! What?!@ I don’t want to be on Jury Duty. Luckily the date I am supposed to appear was during the week I will be out of the country. (topic of another blog in the near future.) I had to send them an explanation stating my excuse, but I had to include dates that I would be available. So it looks like I will only be able to postpone the inevitable, rather than evade it.

I’m looking for advise for when they interview me to make it clear I wouldn’t be a very good juror. I could pretend I’m a bigot of some sort, or maybe just bring my Bible and hold it under my arm the entire time. If I have to serve I will, but I’m going to make it clear that I will be kicking and screaming the entire time. I’ve got enough drama in my life right now and certainly don’t need more.


I’m no expert in computers but I have found that 9 times out of 10, when my computer crashes, if I just re-boot it, the problem seems to resolve itself. (One more reason I am considering moving to an Apple). This week Microsoft taught me a lesson in car repair.

My car has been burning oil fairly quickly the past few years and the check engine light has been on ever since I bought it. A few years ago, I jimmy-rigged the computer in the car to spit out a code for the warning light without taking it to a mechanic. The code that came back was a faulty oxygen sensor. I certainly wasn’t going to worry about that.

This week I was driving down the freeway and the oil pressure light started to flash. I took the nearest exit which was two to three miles away and stopped at the gas station to buy some oil. Since I am due for an oil change in less than two-hundred miles, I just bought two quarts of oil and put them in the engine.

As I left the gas station, the car seemed to hiccup around 2500 RPM. It would sputter and cough and only allowed me to rev the engine to about 3000 RPM even if I continued pushing on the gas. The symptoms occurred even in neutral. So I quickly turned around and headed back to the gas station. I was ready to call a tow truck.

Microsoft saved the day. I turned off the car, waited ten seconds, and turned it back on. The engine light went off for the first time in six years and the car was running without any problems. I drove away contemplating that now might be the perfect time to sell the car. With that thought, the engine light came back on, but the car kept on moving. I guess I won’t be able to bamboozle anyone.

So now I’m asking all the car experts out there what just happened. If I don’t get a legitimate answer, you may hear me on the Car Talk Radio Show.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

You know you are going crazy when...

The list could be quite long if I really put some thought to it, but the events of tonight were noteworthy. By sharing this with the world I imagine I am only advancing the argument that I am going crazy.

I came home from work starving after a long day. It was 8:30 and I was really excited about dinner. Last night I bought some frozen dinners from Supper Solutions. I thought I would try it out. I know this is blasphemy to the purest cooks out there, but I was tired of supporting the local fast food economy. I figured I could at least eat healthy even if I didn’t want to cook. And only an idiot can mess up these meals.

I set the oven to 350 degrees just as the instructions said. I got out the defrosted meal, put my Chicken Cord-on-Blue in an oven safe dish, and poured the sauce over the food. Then I set the timer for 38 minutes...Easy enough. I went to my office and started working. Checking my email, paying bills, etc. I think my stomach was carefully keeping track of the minutes because my internal clock was perfect. I walked back into the kitchen with a forty seconds left on the timer and opened the oven. It was empty. Details, details. My dish was still sitting on the counter.

But wait there's more. I reset the timer and put the dish in the oven. Then back to the office to finish my work and watch a little TV. I was salivating by this time. Thirty-eight minutes later, the oven door opened again ready to dig in to my "supper solution". It looked a little wet, and not thoroughly cooked...just a little warm. Apparently the oven turned off when I canceled the last forty seconds of my first attempt.

So my "solution" to my "supper" is left-over pizza from last night and some Wheat Thins.